Being a fly on the PMs wall

Hi, my name is BottleFly.  I live in the office of the Prime Minister of Canada.  Today I witnessed an historic occasion.  The PM met with his advisers to strategize how to get away with a series of lies.  Here is how it went.

The PM came in about 6:30 AM and immediately activated his intergalactic communication system to make his daily report to the central command on his home planet of Bagdolia.  His report was short and included something about a G20 conference where he berated humans for being not as smart as he.  Then he reported that planning for the take-over of earth by Bagdolians was commencing.  The world's militaries were engaged in wars, the financial people where hiding under Campbell Soup cans and the average citizen was preoccupied with trying to figure out if the mattress of their bed was a better place to put money rather than RRSPs.

At 7AM he was joined by a tiny little man named Flabby or Flairty or something like that.  The PM told the little guy that the government was going to go into a negative cash position (not a deficit, you understand) and that he had arranged to blame it on the international community.  When asked what he had to agree to to get other countries to take the blame, he stated that he had promised them that Canada would accept any and all of their criminals and terrorists as refugees.  The little man was pleased.

He then met with the a young looking guy whose head was the same size as his ass - and that was plenty big.  He apparently was in charge of letting people into the country.  The PM repeated his message to the bloated guy who jumped up and down squealing with glee.  "More refugees means more votes," squeaked the rotund one.  "I will arrange to pass legislation to make citizen available to refugees in 15 minutes from the time they arrive, so that can vote for us," he continued.   The PM concluded the meeting with a curt reminder that the legislation need to submitted as a confidence motion.   "Of course, Mr Presi... err, I mean Mr. Prime Minster."  The rolly-poly guy then floated out of the office singing "We're in the money!"

At 10 AM the PM had a roomful of his cabinet worker bees included a number of women, one of which, she appeared to be Indian or Eskimo or something, was sent to get double-doubles for everyone.  "Don't forget the honey glazed," called out a nearly bald guy wearing a wet suit.  Everyone laughed.

The PM turned serious and stated, that the reasons for sending the woman minister out for coffee was that he wanted to announce that he was selling Canada's north on E-bay.  So far Russia, the US and Denmark Edit HTMLwere bidding the price up.  It currently sat at $17.46 (US) and he felt confident that the price would go above $20 before the end of the week.  The ministers were squirming in their seat at the news.  "Such fun," they chortled.  "These humans are so stupid," they gloated.  "All hail Bagdolia."

"Now it is important that you carry out your roles as bungling politicians," stated the PM.  "The more incompetent you appear, the less the people will focus on what you are doing.  Get out their and screw up and don't worry about the press.  I have something in store for them.  I will tell you about that later."

The office emptied out quickly, including the PM who said something about having to attend an MP sacrifice at Conservative HQs.  Some guy named PP?

At 10:30 the woman returned with the coffee and donuts only to find the office empty.  She spotted an envelope on the conference table upon which her name was written.  She put the coffee and donuts down, spilling an old fashion from the bag onto the floor.   She opened the envelope and read the following, "Give my best Comrade Putin, ha ha."  Confused she slowly exited the office leaving behind the commistables.

I waited a few minutes in case anyone should come in and when the coast was clear, I swooped down on the old fashion donut and eat my fill.

I can hardly wait until the next cabinet meeting.  The talk is almost as yummy as the donuts.