Nominee for Doofus-of-the-decade

If I were David Warren, the seer in seer-suckers and three-times-per-week columnist for the Ottawa Citizen, I would be a bit ashamed of my ignorance.

His recent piece on Forgettable Men was a shot at everyone except himself. Some of the shots were deserved; others, like his comment that "...Liberals in power have been bad news for Canada, since 1963," were sadly over the top.

Warren uses his column to find an excuse for the bone-head Maxie Bernier by slanting the story onto the backs of Liberals. Who cares why Bernier was dumped, asks Warren. "I care," he answers his own question. Why does he care? Is it because state confidential documents were let loose? NO. Was it because Harper had knowledge of the situation all the while he abused the opposition who asked about it? NO. It was because the scandal... err, misunderstanding, could result in the failure of Harper to win a majority government and maybe let the big bad Liberals back in power. OOOOhhh. How scary is that, Davie?

While I would be the last person to say that the Liberals have been squeaky clean, to say that the have been bad news for Canada since 1963, as does Davie, is a bit of a nose-stretcher. The Liberals have been good for this country... better, I dare say, than the GST-loving, NAFTA-failing, don't care about anything but winning, Conservatives have been.

Lying' Brian, Joe Who, Flash Campbell and Harpo. These must be Warrens heroes.

There is a train out of town at 6 AM, Davie. We would all appreciate if you were on it

Ice Cream for me

I decided to take the National Ice Cream Company to court to force them to make dog food flavoured ice cream. Being a Canadian senior on a fixed income, I have grown fond of dog food.

I have the Ice Cream lobby supporting me in this suit because, I suppose, it will make the lobbyists more money. I also have the CARP folks in my corner because, while dog food ice cream is not a popular flavour, they want more choices for their members.

Everything was going swimmingly until yesterday when I made a bit of a mistake. I demanded in my suit that, if the company did not produce dog food ice cream, they would have to cease production of all ice cream. That was when the wheels fell off my campaign. The lobbyists would lose their clients and CARP members would lose 50% of their calories. All of a sudden I was alone in my suit and shunned by my fellow CARP members.

Does this sound like a strange scenario? Compare it to what is happening with the Women's Ski Jumping lobby and the 2010 Olympic games.

Dr. Perfect PP

So here I am in Vancouver, the home of the crazies and who should I hear a story about but the Perfect PP, Pierre Poilievre, the mighty mouse Con MP for Nepean Carleton. What could PP have said that could possibly get the tongues wagging on the Left Coast? Seems that PP has decided that, in addition to his training as a Con mouth piece and bum boy for many of the lesser-known Con politicos, he is now a qualified mental health doctor.

"I think that if people want this medically unnecessary treatment, they have that right. But taxpayers should not have to pick up the tab for it," spouts Perfect PP. What ever could he be talking about?

PP has his shorts in a knot over the 8 or 10 sex change operations performed in Ontario every year. It doesn't matter to PP that these procedures are deemed necessary by medical and mental health professionals who subject applicants for the procedure to strict evaluation. It also doesn't matter to PP that the total bill for the procedures is in the range of $170,000 per year out of a health care budget of billions of dollars.

PP wants the federal government to withhold medical funding transfers to Ontario until they come up to his standard.

Funny thing is that PP is actually an Alberta transplant to Nepean Carleton but he does not seem to apply his same logic to Alberta which also funds the procedures. It is also a funny thing that he does not attack the Canadian military which agreed to fund this type of procedure a couple of years back.

Can you spell "election pandering"?

Health Board for Ottawa?

A word of warning to city council and all Ottawa taxpayers. The idea of an 13 member independent health board (including 6 councillors) to make "non-politicized" decisions may sound like a great idea... and it is... BUT...

Do not let the board get away from you like the Police Services Board did. You may remember the latest fiasco called the city budget wherein the Police Board demanded a whopper of an increase in their suck on the taxpayer teat and council had no recourse other than to say "how high".

I wonder if the same could happen with this health board? I wonder if the board decided that there should be free Wii systems for all kids to counter the spread (no pun intended) of obesity and put a one year price on it of $10 million, would council have the right or the gumption to overturn an "independent" board?

Careful for what you ask... you might get it... in the ear!

Ottawa Sun brightens my day

I picked up the Ottawa Sun at my local Loeb yesterday. I read through the stories which were interesting but not really news. I made it to all the way to page 10 without the little hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Then it began.

"And a chicken in every pot", rings the headline on an article by Paul Berton. The article was about political promises. Paul started off by referring to Barrack Obama's election platform as vague; he says that Obama hasn't made many promises. Your right, Paul, he has not made many promises but, guess what, he is not running in the presidential election today, He is running to be the Democratic nominee for the November election. Why on God's green earth would you expect a nominee-in-the-making to be making promises as if it were an election.

Page 11 really got me going. Chrissy Blizzard laments that the auto industry is headed for the ditch. While the industry is being hammered by unions and the high dollar, Chrissy blames it on Dalton McGuinty. He is giving too much money to the big auto guys and getting nothing but lay-offs in return. She quotes the two paragons of wisdom from Queens Park. NDP leader and hotellier Howie Hampton Inn was "in high dungeon yesterday" (what ever does that mean?) as he hammered the government for handing over money to the auto sector and not getting job guarantees in return. Then she quotes the ever-lovable non-MPP John Tory, leader-in-limbo of the Ontario Cons, who wants deals with automakers to be made public. Yea, as if that will ever happen even if the Cons were [shutter] in power!)

So let me straighten out this dog's breakfast for you. Number one, investments made by the government in the auto sector are not limited the "Big Three". Second, investments are not made to stop layoffs in any short term horizon. Three, it can take 2-5 years to bring a new car or class of cars to market from the time of inception. Four, investment being made are to ensure the future of the auto sector in Ontario (I bet you even Federal Minster of Money and Mouth-piece for the I-hate-Ontario crowd, Jim Flaherty would agree with that.) Case in point, the Ontario government invested $58 million in GMs Centre of Excellence at the University of Ontario Institute of Technology. GM forked over most the rest of the $120 million to get the centre operational. Ontario Development and Trade Minister Sandra Pupatello was at GM for the announcement of the investment. So what does Chrissy say about the occasion? "... Pupatella gush[ed] about a new Camero [on display]..." It may be time to retire, Chrissy.

As if I hadn't had enough of the Sun, my eyes beheld the photo of Wally Robinson, failed Taxpayer Association head, failed Mayoralty Chief of Staff, failed Federal PC candidate, but a great dad, according to him. Wally argues that the federal government should not be judged by the scandals, err... misunderstandings, that brew around them, They should not be judged by the girlfriends they keep or the gaffes they make or the way they treat the people's money and the press. After all, they are the "Harper Government" and that makes them closer to God than the rest of us. They may tell little fibs from time to time, but hey, they lowered the GST rate (big deal). They may use law suits to silence their critics but, don't fret, they made some tax changes for families. And on and on, ad nauseum, blurts Wally for two whole columns. I could just lose my lunch.

I like the Sun, although I like it more when you didn't have to hunt for the page with the Sunshine Girl.

Flaherty blows chunks at Ontario... again

The Federal Minister of Pissing-Ontarians-Off, is at it again. He took a bit of a hiatus in his McGuinty bashing but is back to re-establish his place as the Con dope of Harperville.

A TD economist has postulated that Ontario will be a have-not province under Canada's Equalization Payments system by 2010. The current program of making poor people as unhappy as rich folks, was rejigged in 2006 by the then Con Minister of Finance by the name of... err...Flaherty. Now Flabberty figures that someone broke his system because Ontario's current industrial infrastructure problems and Alberta and Newfoundland's oil money has shown some flaws in his logic.

The real flaws are in his brain.

The real story behind this Equalization brew-ha-ha is that the artificially heightened price of oil has boosted the tax resources of the provinces that mine for fermented dinosaurs and reduced the taxing power of those provinces with a industrial base.

So what does Flabberty say about this? "Action needs to be taken by the Province of Ontario to join us, to partner with us to encourage economic growth in that province." Is the way he talks about Ontario and its Premier the way to encourage partnership? The action that Flabberty wants Ontario to take is to reduce corporate taxes. That is an utterly stupid thing to say on two fronts. First, reducing corporate taxes only helps corporations who make a profit, like the banks and oil companies, who fund the Con party. It is interesting to note that if the Ontario government were to reduce corporate taxes they would move towards have not status even faster.

So what is a government to do? If Ontario is classified as have-not then they will get funding from the Equalization pool, a pool that they contribute $20 billion per year to. Essentially they would be funding themselves. Not good.

The alternative is the wipe out Equalization completely, let Ontario keep its $20 billion and use it to cut tax rates. But, I hear the cry now, that would not be fair to Quebec and PEI, two of the most parasitic parts of Canada. Guess what? Who cares. It is time for Ontario to quit being the whipping boy for Flabberty and his fellow Cons.

The only winner in this battle between Ontario and the Feds is the people of Ontario. Owing to his big foul mouth, there is no way that Flabberty will ever become the leader of the provincial Cons or Premier of Ontario.

By the way, a word to the wise about economists. It is said that if you ask 20 economists a question you will be 21 answers.

Norm Sterling shines bright

There must have been at least one course in law school that Norm Sterling, the mighty 30 year Ontario MPP for Carleton-Mississippi Mills, took that no one else was offered. He seems to be an expert in detection of underground metal fatigue.

The story is that a culvert under the 417 highway just east of Ottawa collapsed this week. It caused a bit of a delay for traffic but no harm was done. According to the Ministry of Transportation (MTO) the 30 year old culvert was scheduled for replacement and that there was no way to predict when it could fail.

But that was not good enough for Normie. "I suspect that it could have been predictable", claims he.

If he is right then the MTO spokesperson, Brandy Duhaime, is lying to us. She commented that, ".. there are some things that are just unpredicted events."

So let me weight this for you. An MPP, who trained as a lawyer, versus the spokesperson for MTO. I think I will go with MTO.

It is interesting, to say the least, that the 30 year old pipe is being retired as beyond its usefulness; but Sterling, who has sucked off the public teat as an MPP for the same 30 years, carries on being useless.

My building's better than yours!

The Ottawa Citizen ran an editorial today that claims that because the Portrait Gallery proposal from Claridge Homes does not meet up with their standards of architecture. It is an afterthought, they claim. "...the gallery entrance could easily pass for the entrance into a food court...", they mock.

This from the company whose Ottawa offices resemble a fortress with gun slits. It's about as inviting as gum sores.

I have news for you, good old CanWest employees at the Citizen, the gallery was not an afterthought, it was an also thought. For a commercial builder, such as Claridge, the Gallery is a non-revenue space much like a foyer or an elevator; or some Citizen paper boxes. Claridge designed the space to fit their image of the building not some architects fancy idea of a work of art. The works of art are supposed to be on the inside.

Architects, most but not all, are egotists who love to spend other peoples money. How can you explain taking a fifties era building like the old city hall in Ottawa and turning it into Superman's long lost planet. Who's idea is it to suspend a glass tower at the Museum of Nature in Ottawa. The 19th century castle is going to look a bit like it's wearing a condom.

Remember when they first built the National Art Gallery. It looked great with all those glass panels along the roof - but it leaked like a sieve. I can't remember what the Citizen said about the building, but I bet they liked it.

Public spaces are built by taxpayers. They can afford to be extravagant. Private space are built by developers. They have to be a bit more practical than extravagant. If you want more than a food court entrance, then blame the government that foisted this "competition" on the country.

I have some news for the Cons

One of the rules of good communications is to be clear with your message. Another is stay on message.

A third is that sometimes taking a hit is less painful than fighting the hit.

OK, I made up the third one. But it fits the current situation of the Cons to a "T".

This In and Out Scandal that has enveloped the fed Cons is more than likely a conflict in regulation interpretation between EC and Cons, but the way that the Cons reacted to it has created the elephant in the room.

Election Canada charges that their audit of 2006 election expenses shows that the Cons federal campaign transferred money to local candidate who had room in their allowed advertising budgets. These local candidates were either shoe-ins or also-rans. The local campaigns then sent back the money to the federal office, usually within a few days and within a few bucks of what was sent to them. The federal campaign then used the money to purchase ads purportedly on behalf of the local candidates. Never mind that the "local" ads purchased by the federals Cons were often not even running in the catch area of the local candidate. If you accept that these were really federal ads, as does Elections Canada, then the federal campaign exceeded its allowable ad budget by $1 million AND 67 local candidates were not entitled to the $700,000 reimbursement from Election Canada for bogus local advertisement.

The federal Cons, on the other hand maintain that they did nothing wrong. They interpret the Election Act differently with respect to advertising. That is the nub of their argument. But rather than saying that they would work something out with Elections Canada; the Cons went into immediate damage control mode, hauled out their communication bigwigs and wrote a new playbook on how to spin the situation.

I got a copy of the playbook, in a brown envelope marked "Contents may damage your brain", left on my door step the other day. The following is the content, verbatim:

Page one of the playbook states: Accept no blame.
Page two states: Demand that all other parties be subject to scrutiny
Page three states: Blame it on Elections Canada
Page four: Blame it on that weinie Dion
Page five: Blame it on Global Warming scientists
Page six: Sue Elections Canada
Page seven: Accept no blame (we cannot mention this enough)
Page eight: Hide the PM in Louisiana and send the rest of the cabinet (especially that Baird guy) to a retreat in an unannounced location.
Page nine: Make sure that the face you put in front of this scandal is disposable, because it is going to destroy his/her credibility.
Page ten: We recommend MP Pierre Poilievre to be the face of the party in this matter.

Poor old Perfect PP. He gave his career for his PM.

Oh, oh. We are in trouble now!

The Minster of Finance, the Honourable James Flaherty, told a group of American citizens (lawyers and potential investors) at the tony New York Yacht Club that, "Canada is not an island." Pretty good so far. He got his geography right. He then went on to say that Canada is fiscally well positioned to "weather the storm" of an American recession. That is a good positive statement meant to impart confidence. Hear, hear, Jimmy.

Then the wheels fell off.

Jimmy pledged that he will deliver a balanced budget. Oops. Many Canadians, especially Ontarians, will remember that Jimmy used the same words during a provincial election when he was Minister of Finance for Ontario. Unfortunately Jimmy's idea of a balance budget differed from eveyone else. He left Ontario with a "balanced" $5 billion deficit.

The current Liberal government in Ontario has eliminated that deficit, delivered REAL balanced budgets and started the uploading of services from the cities that Jimmy downloaded while balancing his budgets.

So does Jimmy applaud the government of Ontario? Nope. Not his style. He has carried out a relentless attack on Ontario over corporate taxes. Alberta, which is rolling in cash has reduced its corporate tax rate. So has Manitoba and New Brunswick and many other provinces. Ontario is the lone hold-out. Fair enough, but let's look at the facts behind the rhetoric.

Question? What do all provinces (except Alberta), who have lowered their corporate tax rates have in common?

Answer? Equalization payments which distributes funds gleaned from the only two "Have " provinces, Alberta and Ontario, to the "Have-nots", which is the rest of the provinces.

Is it safe to assume that, if Equalization did not exist, "Have not" provinces would not be able to reduce tax rates and that Ontario could have? I think so.

So Jimmy is saying to US lawyers and investors, over shrimp and Johnny Walker Blue at the NYYC, that Canada is a great place to invest. I wonder if he is also reiterating his off-mentioned slam that Ontario is the last place in Canada he would invest?

The Hon. James Flaherty, Minister of self-promotion and slight-of-hand.

"Perfect PP" is back and in fine form

Pierre "Perfect PP" Poilievre, the mighty mouse MP for Nepean Carleton has resurfaced in the news after a long absence. Rumour has it that he went back to his native Alberta to recharge his batteries and to ask his Mama for permission to continue his mission to spew invectives in the East.

Permission was granted so PP flew back to his temporary office on Parliament Hill and got back to work. Earlier this week the RCMP raided the Cons Ottawa HQ, looking for evidence with respect to the 2006 election In and Out financing tactics of the Cons. The press was in attendance, as was a liberal worker with a camera.

Perfect PP went ballistic. "Somebody should ask who in Elections Canada invited the Liberal party to make a home video out of the visit to our headquarters," he said.

I know you are just a young pup with only 5 years toward your gold plated pension so I will let you in on a little secret about political Ottawa. THERE ARE NO SECRETS IN OTTAWA. There are only some people who try to keep secrets. If you want to know how people knew in advance about the raid, just watch the dreaded CBC once in a while, not just those days you star on Don Newman's Politics show. Tear your focus away from the spiritual channel just long enough to know what is really happening around you.

While we are on the case of petty politicians, let's hear what the Minister of Impending Deficits, Jim Flaherty, has to say on this scandalous behaviour. "I do find it odd, when I look at a photograph this morning and I see someone knocking on the door with cameras, with news cameras present." I listened to what Jimmy said and I waited with bated breath for him to blame this on the corporate tax policies of the Ontario government. No mention. I guess that scandal is over... for now.

When you promote yourselves as a squeaky clean government, any bit of dirt will show. PM Harper, Minister Flaherty and Perfect PP... you are all past your best-before date.

MDA morass takes another victim

As the MacDonald Detwiller saga wends its way to the obvious conclusion that the US arms dealer ATK will eventually suck it up, another respected Canadian has been sucked into the vortex and spit out with.. eerr... spit on his shirt.

John Reid is the long time president of the Canadian Advanced Technology Association (CATA). He has been president since the invention of the cathode ray tube and he has just run afoul of of his fellow Canadians. John feels that the government of Canada should refrain from interfering in the transaction between ATK and MDA because the shoe might be on the other foot one day.

Have a nice retirement John. You will be missed.

Can you imagine the stink that would rise in Washington if a Canadian company decided to buy Boeing or Lockheed or Raytheon? Think that the Americans would say, "we had better refrain lest the shoe be on the other foot one day?" Not a chance.

MDA is gone. So is RADARSAT2, Canadarm, Dexter, David Florida Labs, Canadian aerospace jobs and billions of taxpayers dollars. It may take a bit of time to finalize the deal but they are gone. Harper will not protect Canada. Get used to it.

Taxpayers are being hosed to death by co-investment programs such as the Technology Partnership Program (TPP). The federal program loans billions of dollars to companies, including the Canadian branches of multinationals, but only sees 5-8% of the loans repaid. I wonder of MDA owes money under the TPP and if ATK will repay it? I wonder also if MDA, as a subsidiary of ATK, will grunt at the federal TPP trough in the future?

We need iron-clad agreements with companies who get TPP. If they get sold, they should repay the loans immediately. If the company goes bankrupt, TPP should be at the top of the creditors list (even higher than the greedy bloody banks). If the company cannot agree with these terms, then no TPP. If your renege on paying back the loan within the stringent timeframe established, you get sued and are disqualified from further TPP funding in the future.

TPP was a good program in theory. Unfortunately the execution of it stinks.