Top Ten Reasons to re-elect Harper?

From the home office in Come-by-Chance, Newfoundland, here are the top ten reasons to re-elect Harper and his band of Cons:

Number 10: they called an election in contravention to their own fixed-date election law;

Number 9: they called the election to draw the heat off their legal problems over In and Out and Cadman;

Number 8: a number of their incumbent Con candidates, including John "Screamer" Baird are being challenged over so-called ten percenter advertisements that were sent out after the election was called (a direct contravention of the law);

Number 7: former PM Harper loves the arts so much that he cut funding by $45 million;

Number 6: Harper likes cats and plays the piano;

Number 5: Cons love to apologize for everything and throw tax money around like it is their own;

Number 4: Harper admits that he has set the tone for the campaign that includes insults to a killed soldier's father and foul (or is that fowl) insults on the web;

Number 4: Harper has finally determined that their are some special challenges in Ontario's manufacturing sector;

Number 3: Finance Min Flaherty has declared to anyone who will listen that Ontarions are whiners and Ontario is the last place in Canada he would invest (Flabs is an Ontario MP, so he should know);

Number 2:  Harper has determined that Ontario's problems would be all better if the Ontario government listened to him and played by his rules (Does that include Flabs?); and the

Number One reason to re-elect Harper: (drum roll please);

He has the suppport of every Premier across Canada except for: Danny Williams, Rodney McDonald, Gordon Campbell, Gary Doer, Shawn Graham, Robert Ghiz and Dalton McGuinty.  That just leaves Stelmach, Cherest and Wall - but then three out of ten is enough for a minority government.